Sometimes kindness can be the last straw
I was going to write quite a lengthy post and I ran out of time, or rather it turned to be more difficult to write than I anticipated.
Kindness, the last straw? Perhaps you will recognise this feeling, when it all gets a bit too much. I remember an incident when someone tried to intervene as my mother lashed out. The thing is I felt unworthy at the time, this is what happens to most kids who have an abusive childhood. They are ashamed, they take on the guilt, it's their fault.
This intervention did nothing to appease my mother, on the contrary, I paid the price later. She felt humiliated and vindicated at the same time. In her yes, she was the victim.
It doesn't mean of course that people should close their eyes and do nothing. It might have been the last straw at the time but I still remember this lady. She cared, she didn't approve and she tried. She was a total stranger and she stuck up for me. Only, at the time I just wanted to run away and hide. I did not want to talk about it. This had been a painfully hmiliating experience. I didn't want anybody to see me like this.
So what should you do then?
Even if you think you're not helping, if you think the person you're trying to help is awkward, if you think they're not appreciating your help, just remember me, I remember you and all the little and bigger acts of kindness. The people you are kind to might not be able to show you at the time but it won't have been in vain. They need time to heal, to come to terms with what's happened and/or is still happening to them.
Much Love Elle, so very true and insightful.
|1641 days ago|
OH my goodness, isn't this true! Sometimes we feel powerless, however, kindness has a power of it's own. Even if the perpetrator doesn't appreciate, the person it's directed to, always does. Sometimes in their own quiet way.
|1663 days ago|