I always start each year avoiding a specific resolution by simply stating, "I just want to change my mind & body for the better."  And, as you probably have guessed, each year ends with no changes, no better & sometimes just a little worse for wear & tear.  I am determined that by this year's end, I can not only list the changes I've made but hardwired them into my way of life.  After yet another recent attempt to end my misery, I can say this with conviction, "I want to live, just not with the existing version of me".  I'll draw upon the strength & wisdom of all of you here, at Women on the Verge, because you've accepted me as I shouldn't be & inspired me to change to as I could be.

What specifically do I want to change in 2012:

• Let people in & not push them away to keep myself safe from what they may think of me.
• Write that book as I always wanted to (during my recent stay at a hospital I wrote the outline & my confidence grew with each word that I can do it.). Not sure how to get it published but I will find a way.
• Find my truths...scary & sad but I'm not sure what they are.
• Create a peaceful & prosperous relationship with money.
• Learn to love the person known as Heidi, flaws & all.

I can't be a change agent for the world at large until I change myself.  But I can dream of what I would champion.

• Re-energize the women's movement for 2012 & beyond.

I didn't have the chance to say it earlier...Happy New Year, my WOTV friends.  Thank you for your support, wise words & inspiration.  You've given me a reason to believe I am worthy to live.