She was not afraid of Death
Talked about it like the weather
I want to die quickly and in my sleep
She made her request
And she did

It was her heart that
killed her
generous
passionate
active
angry
dramatic
talented
heart

Her generosity touched so many
Watched the news
With her checkbook in hand
Ready to help the family
In need


She was generous
With her time
Brother, dad and I
Were never told she was
Too busy -
to help with school projects
to take a class with us
to travel all over the world
to attend a game

She was passionate
about her music
Her piano was her dearest friend
She would visit her daily
Sometimes to cry
Sometimes to sing
Always with heart

She was passionate about family
Not even the Devil himself could get
between her and her family, she would say.
Her loyalty showcased
Her truth

Anger ran deep
Like a hidden tumor
She wanted to keep secret,
But couldn't
Angry at a mother who was selfish
Angry at herself for eating through it
Angry at her children for taking her for granted
Anger was the Pac-Man that ate her
Magnificent heart

Drama was her middle name
Willing to perform
Ham-it-up
Sing
At any time or place
She dressed in colors
Played with her hair
Bought BIG toys
And laughed
Real loud

She'll do anything
We thought
She'd ask the embarrassing question
Try new styles
Skinny dip with friends
Secretly go to the amusement park
while everyone was working

Her talent was vast
Numerous instruments
Were lured by her hands
Many sports her calling
She called herself a Jack of all trades
And she was

Laying carpet
hanging wallpaper
building shelves
Home was a museum
To her talents and constant activity
Quirky furniture with dioramas of western scenes
Clock that cracked a whip on the hour
And treasures given to her by famous and
Not so famous friends

She communicated her heart through
Her voice
Anytime in the brightest of day
In the darkest of night
I can hear her voice
Call me Sweetheart

With Love and Gratitude to my mother, Josie Gonzales, 1940 - 1988

Ana Lewis