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Beauty & Wisdom
01.02.2011 (2694 days ago)
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Healing - Woman to Woman

This is truly a conundrum of a subject for me because as a woman, I thought it would be easy to heal energies with other women. Not so. I believe it's because people, man or woman, are on their own path and sometimes where they are, is not where I am or vice versa and one person isn't ready to lay down the gauntlet.  I realize that when another woman is not ready to heal with me, that this has nothing to do with me, but sometimes, I allow it to make me sad. In recent years I found myself in a situation with a particular woman who I was given the opportunity to learn from in this way.  There were times when she trusted me but no sooner than I thought "Wow, we are finally going to get along and she is going to respect and accept me" that pow, she turned around and accused me of doing malicious things and my character and even included a dig to my family, whom see has never met.  All this happened just when I was letting go of my hurt from her actions in the past and I had decided that I am ready to forgive and move forward... not just for us, but for other family members involved.  She wasn't having it.  I can surmise a few reasons, but I would be putting myself in the place of analyzing and trying to figure "her" out instead of looking in my own backyard.  I realized, that after many attempts, that I could not go to the hardware store for milk anymore and that I would have to work on this healing without her physical presence.  Sometimes, I believe, we just have to love a person from where we are and nothing more...and maybe the best thing I can do is "love" her from where I am... so that I don't put myself in a position to be hurt or mistreated anymore.  I have had some funky experiences with female energy as a kid and young adult and it wasn't until I was 26 that I first had a real great girlfriend, who I trusted and knew that she really wanted me to shine and wasn't jealous of me.  It's a funny and curious thing ‘that’ female energy that instigates jealousy and competition... so ingrained in female animals vying for the big strong male with the biggest horns!   I'm no angel, I confess...when I was young, I was oblivious to what I was doing to other women too... because of my own insecurities and need for validation. I'm certainly not perfect, but these days I try to be conscious of another woman's feelings and more importantly I try  to remain conscious of my actions and words and body language.  If someone were to ask me, "what is a way that we can heal each other as women?" I would say, learn to love yourself so unconditionally that no one can take anything from you, nor threaten you... and that love, that we feel for ourselves really enables us to be so grounded that it's difficult to feel threatened by another woman or anyone.   And then, our love and respect for each other will grow as it grows inside of us.  The more I live, the more I truly believe that loving ourselves is the answer to everything... yes, everything...

Last year, Rita Ross (of PocketPeople) and I,  put together a “Girl’s Night In” (Pictured) and gathered women to celebrate each other. We smudged, brought food and drank some wine and passed around a talking feather and each one of us felt a connection that was missing from our lives. I hope to have more of these as I found it to be extremely healing, woman-to-woman. 

Robbie · 2694 days ago
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  •  Karen-Monroy: 
    Robbie, I love the girls night 'in'....... wouldn't it be wonderful if when we were young, 'how to be a good friend' was just as important as the ABC's? It's a learning process and we learn to give others what we finally learn to give our-self.
     2685 days ago 
    1 point
  •  Marta: 
    Oh my friend. I so understand what you are saying. I have had so many of the same issues involving women friends. I truly am always ready to open up yet fear to for the hurt that always has been flung back at me from those women that I had considered friends. I agree love oneself and sometimes one must love someone from afar.
     2693 days ago 
    1 point
  •  laineyd7: 
    Robbie, this post is a validation of so much of my experience. Your advice to "love yourself so unconditionally that no one can take anything from you" is right on. In doing so, we will realize that we can forgive ourselves (and others) for our imperfections; won't life be sweeter looking through these loving eyes.
     2694 days ago 
    3 points
  •  AnaLewis: 
    Wow, Robbie, I can relate to so many of the things you are saying. I think that high school unfortunately did not bring out the best in many of us (myself included). I love the idea of the talking feather. Thank you.
     2694 days ago 
    3 points
Healing - Woman to Woman