When discussing the concept of giving and receiving, my mind automatically goes to giving. I am comfortable giving. I hand make gifts at this time every year for family – I have a running list of things I want to make, carefully designed for each person; I volunteer as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for Children (CASA) and I much of my time is still donated to this community I love – Women on the Verge.

Giving seems so simple, right? Until recently. My daughter came to me and told me that someone in her sister's side of the family has a very advanced kidney disease and she would like to consider donating her kidney to save this woman's life. Wow. Giving a kidney. That is very huge.

My first instinct was to protect my child. I researched the hazards, the process, the details and gave her all of the intellectual reasons to not do it. Her answer was, “It's saving someone's life.” Deep breath. Okay... then I started with the fear tactics – what if something happens to my baby? What if she's at risk afterward or even during the procedure? Ack! Her answer? “It's saving someone's life.”

She has been going through the steps of the process and jumping over every hurdle like it's not there. She's healthy, vibrant and ready to make the cross-country trip to lie in an operating room and give another person the best gift she can – life. She only has one more box to check off, one last trip to the doctor's office, one last set of tests, and she is there.

My daughter is excited. In her words, “Very excited.” She communicates with the woman she is giving this amazing gift to often and tells me how much her gift is appreciated. After a dark day of dialysis, my daughter gives this woman hope.

I am coming around. I have had a heart-to-heart with my daughter and told her that as her mother, I want to protect her. I told her that I know that my thoughts are selfish, while her's are not. And for her unselfish thoughts, I am proud of her. I told her that I am in awe of her courage and that the only thing that she can do better than this for her future is to become a nun. (She laughed.)

Sometimes we don't do what our mothers want us to do. Sometimes we have to listen to our own hearts. I tell that to my friends, to myself, and now I have had to tell that to my own daughter. If she passes this final group of medical tests, I will be proudly and tearfully at her side in her cross country adventure, with more love than I can possibly say.

Ana Lewis
Founder
WomenontheVerge.net