My mother collected recipes like some people collect dolls or knick-knacks. I have volumes of handwritten recipes by her, organized in binders and according to the type of food represented. She had well-organized notebooks for Chinese, Greek, Italian and Mexican foods – all of our favorites. She would make egg rolls by hand and pizza with home-made dough. She exemplified showing love through food.

I think that this is a cultural thing, one of which many of our mothers were raised by and practice. It's not just a Latino thing, as many of our heritages showcase the food = love method. In my family, we always knew that a visit to our grandmother's house would result in a full tummy. I swear, I would go into my Nana's home and head straight for her saltine cracker jar. I couldn't wait to start chowing down! Fresh made beans, tortillas, tamales, enchiladas and of course – dessert. Both of my grandmothers believed in dessert. Both of them were thin as rails (go figure). One grandmother was famous for a chocolate pudding cake to die for... I still can't get that recipe down and I crave that cake all the time. The other grandmother? Ay-ay-ay... she used to make this hideous tomato cake that none of us liked, but we all ate... so she thought we liked it. We still joke about how we all survived Nana's tomato cake.

When food is love, we learn by example how to demonstrate that with our friends and family in our own lives. There are good and bad sides of that, of course. In Geneen Roth's book, When Food Is Love, she shows how dieting and compulsive eating often become a substitute for intimacy. Comfort food. It really does bring us comfort. But what happens when the Nanas are gone? The mothers are gone? Is it up to us to carry the food=love torch? Do we overcompensate and try to find the comfort from the loss and eat ourselves to unhealthiness?

My friends used to joke that one never leaves my home hungry. I took pride in that (if I am honest with myself, I still do.) However, a few years ago, this led me to an unhealthy weight. I joined Weight Watchers and discussed my problem via their community online. A small group of us found each and established a mini-community of over 40's who ran their own businesses and were trying to gain a grip on a healthier lifestyle. I am still friends with the same women I met there. We found that we had a few things in common in addition to our ages and our businesses. Many of us lost our mothers.

According to the American Public Health Association (APHA), studies on the impact on children whose mother had died, affected their health and even their own survival. Their health was often affected by weight gain. This leads me to believe, in my own small study, that even if we are not children who lost their mothers, we still look for the comfort of our mothers when they are gone. We thereby give comfort food the stage and encore performances it desires.

I can't say that Weight Watchers necessarily helped me get to the healthy weight that I am at now, but I can definitely say that my friends that I met there did. The support and healing woman to woman was instrumental in me finding my way back – beyond the comfort food.

Ana Lewis is the Founder of WomenontheVerge.net