Writing about sex is like writing about my entire life. It was never taught to me as a sacred practice, so it was never sacred... not until the last 10-15 years or so of my life and after I was introduced to tantric sexual practices. My sexuality is definitely part of the mile markers of my life... I was extremely permiscuous sexually and my career as a musician lent the perfect "breeding" ground for sex as something to participate in as a passionate yet love-less endeavor. I always thought I was the classic girl/woman looking for acceptance through my sexuality... only most times, I was accepted sexually but not emotionally. Needless to say, over years of this practice I began to feel empty and regretful inside and I stopped resptecting myself and my body....and the next morning guilts were immense. I must admit, there were times when I didn't regret the one night stand where the connection was unbelievable, if not fleeting, and I have never forgotten those times, though they are very few and happened later in life when I was more conscious. I guess there's a time for "wild" and time to grow up and realize that my body truly is my temple.... and I respect and love my temple and no one can "enter" this temple if they do not respect it. My temple is who I am and more than my body. It took a very long time for me to get here... to be connected to my body and soul - and I don't feel sexual if the connection is not there. I can't even make love with my husband if I do not feel connected emotionally or intimately... I think sometimes he wishes he knew me when I was "wild" and had no connection to my body or self, except to look for that acknowledgment or acceptance from an exterior standpoint. How I wish that Tantra was taught in every school - offering a beautiful and meaningful point of view on sex - so that these kids, yes kids who are now having sex much more early in life, know that it exists. I understand the animalistic qualities of sex and it can be exciting... I don't know why the evolution of meaningful sex takes place, more often than not, later in life.... perhaps it is part of maturing? These days I get turned on by completely different things when it comes to making love.... happiness, gentleness, humor....kindness and most importantly, respect.
laineyd7 wrote 588 Days Ago (neutral)0Robbie, this is right on. I would say aging definitely helps reveal our real feelings and values. How wonderful of you to share this, and I agree with Karen - it would be wonderful for younger women to come to this understanding earlier in life.1 point Elle wrote 589 Days Ago (neutral)0Great post Robbie!2 points AnaLewis wrote 590 Days Ago (neutral)0Oh Robbie, your honesty speaks volumes to so many of us. Sometimes I think our lackadaisical approach was a sign of the times, other times, I think that it was just not knowing any better. Our mothers tried, but we were busy "finding ourselves" and not listening. Thank goodness we're still growing and learning. Loved your post. Thank you Robbie.2 points Karen-Monroy wrote 590 Days Ago (neutral)0Robbie, wow! Love your post. Respect is a turn on, gentleness, slowing down, humor.....I think we all get the 'biological' aspect of sex. We all feel it--yet as you so beautifully stated it does leave us empty. What an important thing for us to say to younger women-- "notice how you feel!" XO2 points