I'm defintely a Quiet Angry Woman on a mission to become quiet when it is wise & angry when it is right. I grew up at a time where the established belief of 'women being seen, rather than heard' came under attack. The 60's revolution packed a powerful punch towards not only the establishment but also established social rules. The consequent emergence of Feminism and its equally powerful punch added momentum to further breaking down accepted social beliefs & rules towards how a woman should act. Enough? No and certainly not all the breakthroughs were sustainable in the long run. I believe still that in some corporate & social cultures, it is wise for a woman to remain quiet when angry. Anger being judged as either unfeminine, a threat or not having self-control, i.e. men are assertive, women aggressive.
How many stories have each us read that demonstrate the effect of suppressing an emotion and the consequent affection to self destruction, i.e. I'm angry but can't or am not allowed to say the words so I'll eat instead, etc. That's one aspect, the other being one of identity. If I'm quiet, how will you judge me? She doesn't care, she has no opinion, she has issues, she thinks she's better...? If I'm angry, how will I be judged? She's out of control, she has issues, needs to learn to self-control? Well, there are causes or situations where you need to be angry to be heard in order to be able to change, personally or culturally. Equally, the same can be said for being quiet. It's finding that balance in order to gain what is needed, not wanted.
At the end of the day, if either being angry or quiet is pretension to be used as a weapon of mass manipulation, it's wrong. We each need to get to know ourselves well enough to know what works. It may be right for some to approach challenges or causes in a quiet measured way, that's who you are. Others may want to rage, while others are still looking what is right for them. I've always been a person of opposites and what works for me finding the right balance. What should work for everyone, is being ok with whatever works for your heart & soul.
Amen Heidi! I have had to listen to myself for sure. Raging does not work for me. I respond is such unhealthy ways - crying, feel sick, eat, sleep... not a lot of productivity for me when I rage. So, I am doing the best I can to communicate things that make me upset on the spot - immediately. And, most important, I pray. Oh yeah... I pray to be shown what I should say in order to meet my objective and get my point across. And you know what? Every time I pray to be shown, I am.
|1351 days ago|